Why Couples Should Tell Each Other Who They’re Voting For
Having opposing political views might be a dealbreaker for you—which is okay. That’s actually all the more reason for you to have the conversation with your partner sooner rather than later. Avoiding the conversation because you’re worried you might need to end the relationship only prolongs the inevitable, keeps you in a relationship that’s ultimately not right for you, and hurts you both in the long run.
This is also true if you think your views might be a dealbreaker for your partner. If you’re hiding who you are to keep your partner from breaking up with you, you’re building a relationship based on lies—which isn’t fair for you and definitely isn’t fair for your partner.
All that said, it’s possible for couples to have different political views and still have a functional relationship. “There are huge benefits to having this conversation with each other, particularly if you can manage your emotions well and ‘just listen’ as your partner shares, rather than get reactive,” Muñoz says. “If your partner is voting differently from you, you may learn more about them, their fears, their insecurities, and their vulnerabilities by finding out why they’re choosing a particular candidate.”
Even if you know you can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your core values—and that’s valid—there may still be benefits to having an open conversation with this person you care about, even if you’re not going to continue to be in a romantic relationship with one another.
“It’s conversations like this, between people who care about each other and feel safe with each other, that can actually help people begin to see a broader picture, and change rigid, entrenched, or polarizing viewpoints,” Muñoz says. “Otherwise, we all live in echo chambers where we believe what we believe, judge people with different beliefs, and have no opportunities to learn, understand, and lovingly challenge other people’s perspectives.”