What The Bachelorette Got Wrong About Love Languages

The contestants were tasked with using each of the love languages on this season’s star Clare Crawley, including showering her with words of affirmation, exchanging touch while blindfolded, procuring random gifts for her from their hotel rooms, and of course, stealing her away for some one-on-one QT.

But critically, the point of the love languages is not that you’re supposed to use all five of them on your partner. In fact, it’s basically the opposite of that: Chapman’s theory asserts that most people have one primary love language (maybe two) that they prefer for giving and receiving love. So, couples are encouraged to find out what their partner’s preferred love language is and focus on using that one, rather than assuming they’ll like all forms of expressing love.

For example, a person whose love language is quality time likely doesn’t care much about receiving gifts, so that means their partner can probably worry less about bringing home souvenirs and more about actually spending time at home.

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