In order to heal from enmeshment, a person first has to recognize how they are affected by it. “For example, if you recognize that you have trouble being alone without a partner or feel threatened by your partner’s autonomy, you can practice soothing yourself in those moments,” Muñoz says. Self-soothing tactics could include breathwork, self-talk, or meditation.
“You can also begin to cultivate your own autonomy by seeking out activities that are purely about you and having nothing to do with what anyone else around you likes or approves of,” she adds.
Finding your own voice and ideas is a critical part of the healing journey. To help with this process, Appleton recommends journaling, seeking out a therapist, or talking to a trusted mentor. “Take responsibility for your feelings, and your feelings alone,” she says. “Work on consciously naming and normalizing the feelings that come up for you day to day or moment to moment.”
Setting and keeping boundaries is a healthy way to care for yourself and your needs, without being influenced by others. Remember, you should only be there for another person some of the time, Muñoz says. “Enmeshed relationships, and codependent relationships, operate on the implicit expectation that one or both partners need to be there all of the time.”