Before things even get going, it’s important for both parties to be in the mood and down to go down. This is as much mental as it is physical, Engle explains, noting that women in particular can sometimes struggle to enjoy oral sex.
“Women aren’t openly encouraged to expect or enjoy oral sex,” she notes. “There’s an entire industry devoted to selling us products to ‘freshen’ our vulvas and vaginas because they are inherently ‘gross’—it’s a crappy deal.”
The best way to combat this, she says, is to be sure your partner knows how much you want to give oral sex. If you tell them how turned on you are by giving pleasure, how hot they are, etc., it will help them feel more comfortable—and more sexy—which means better chances at having an orgasm.
“Showing interest in what brings her pleasure is a huge turn-on,” says Engle.
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