How I Grieved My Miscarriage & Why We Need To Talk About Loss
“I’m sorry, dear. We cannot save the pregnancy…” All of the words coming out of my doctor’s mouth after those first two life-changing sentences became a muffled blur. As I looked at him, the room seemed to expand into nothingness trapping me in an inescapable nightmare. The debilitating terror that had consumed me from the moment my water broke unexpectedly earlier that morning had now transitioned to emptiness as any remaining hope I had vanished.
After a long and sleepless night waiting for the contractions to start, I delivered my twins the next morning without the joy that was supposed to accompany my first delivery. As I said my goodbyes to them, it felt like my soul was dying as well, leaving me unrecognizable to myself long after this ill-fated day. After years of failed IVF cycles, the loss of my twins was the sucker punch that finally brought me to my knees. I was unable to pick myself back up.
Grieving any type of loss is heartbreaking and traumatic. And yet, pregnancy loss has an added layer of hardship because of the stigma surrounding the issue. It is not a topic that is widely discussed both by those who experience the loss or the general public. Why is it so hard to talk about pregnancy loss openly and honestly?
Well, October happens to be National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. So let’s start the discussion.