Breaking Up With Someone You Live With? How To Do It Right

Moving on typically isn’t a cakewalk for most, so lean on your people. “Enlist resources and your support system to help you,” Spinelli says, adding, “There are a myriad of feelings that come up even if you are the initiator of the breakup; grief, fear, worry, shame, guilt—breakups elicit a lot of guilt for the partner who leads the decision.”

This is a natural human reaction, she says. And if you are feeling guilty, it’s important to remember you made the decision for a reason, even though it can be painful to your partner. “You can be empathic, but you are responsible for your own feelings and should not hold theirs,” she adds. “You are allowed to make choices for your happiness and well-being.”

As with any relationship, it’s a good idea to give yourself a period of mourning before you jump into the dating game again, to allow you to fully process and heal. There’s no right or wrong time to start dating again; just try to be honest with yourself about what you’re seeking in a relationship.

And lastly, if you still have to live together for a while, again, communication is key. Set boundaries and give each other space, and keep communicating honestly.

(Here’s our full guide on how to get over a breakup.)

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